What happened last year?
Oh my god, did I forget to whine about this last year? That’s so unlike me.
Last year, my mother-in-law asked me to bring cookies to their Christmas celebration. She’s an excellent cook and so I always feel compelled to go above and beyond and do something that’ll really impress. So I bought a Martha Stewart holiday cookie cookbook and picked out some of the most visually appealing and tastiest looking cookies to bake.
It was a total shit show. Martha’s recipes are always far more complicated than they need to be and I swear she tosses in random ingredients just to fuck with me. And then, after all is said and done, that bitch’s cookies don’t even taste that good!
I spent two days slaving away on cookies and then, when I was almost finished, I was holding the baby and, I don’t know, I like seized or something, and dropped two whole batches of peanut butter sandwich cookies on the floor. They weren’t salvageable and I wanted to crumple into a pile on the floor right along with those cookies.
It sucked. And no one even ate my cookies (and I swear, recipes were ultimately modified to make them actually taste good, so I don’t know what the hell everyone’s problem with my cookies was).
This year, I’m taking on simpler and tastier cookie recipes. Fuck Martha.
